Once in a while, when one is able to lift one's head from the merry-go-round of treatment cycles, the disease, the treatment and the hospital can actually provide some occasions for laughter.
Here are some of mine; do write in with yours and we'll build the fun!
You know you are a cancer patient:
- When WBC, CBC, RBC, all begin to make sense to you.
- When you wished you had paid more attention to biology classes in school.
- When you know so many people, equipment, and corridors in the hospital, that you can comment, about how a weighing machine was moved from this corner to that.
- When you Brylcreem the heck out of a wig
- When you disentangle yourself from a clothesline and leave....without your hair!
- When you imagine yourself to be a celebrity rushing away from paparazzi but are only clutching your hat, your wig and sundry other accessories as you navigate the
sudden blast of wind from a random, well-directed fan.
- When you explain to your baffled sister, who is wondering why the hospital is paging kimonos and tut-tutting the inappropriateness of this on a public address
system, that they were actually calling for the Chemo Nurse!
- When you set out feeling on top of the world with eyebrows meticulously drawn only to have the Chennai perspiration turn you into a one-eyebrowed creature.
- When you give constructive feedback to ensure privacy of the patient and come back much later to find it perfectly implemented for the attender.
- When it's your turn to follow an obviously devout patient at the Radiation room and you sincerely hope to leverage any lingering benefits of a sanctified place.
- When Murphy comes to visit exactly when you need to be completely still for targeted radiation therapy and you use all your will power to triumph over that pesky
itch/sneeze in the interest of protecting your organs.
- When you bend an aluminum hanger with your bare hands easily (which you cannot do typically), you know you are under the influence of performance enhancing drugs
- When your family has received a ballistic earful from you, they exchange a twinkle and mutter - the steroid is kicking in; let's get out of the way.